Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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