if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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