If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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