Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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