Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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