Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
