your thong is hanging out like whoa
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
