I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
