we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
