I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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