Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?

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(410): View more from Maryland

This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca

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(804): View more from Virginia

I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five

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(765): View more from Indiana

I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college

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(240): View more from Maryland

Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"

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(701): View more from North Dakota

The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.

(406): View more from Montana

And we all know God doesn't like sinners.

(701): View more from North Dakota

Amen.

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(845): View more from New York

Because ur a stupid bitch

(1-845): View more from New York

Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.

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(407): View more from Florida

How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.

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