About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
