Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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