Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
