I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
