I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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