is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
