i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
