you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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