Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
