the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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