I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
PANTIES FOUND
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