evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
