we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
