i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
