? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
