I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
