yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Randomize
