Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Randomize
