i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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