oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
