remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
