Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize