I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
