Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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