well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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