Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
