i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
