my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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