she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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