I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You can't just leave with hair like that
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
