I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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