i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
