I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
