he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
its liver damage thursday
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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