In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
