For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
