dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
