May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
