I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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