That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
