So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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