They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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