god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
