How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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