It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
