She announced her abortion via fbk
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
